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15 minutes reading time (2973 words)

Divorce, Uncoupling and Separation

Stay or Go Ambivalence

Arguments, uncertainty, fear, misunderstanding, unheard, sex-less, unromantic, where did our love go...

You have probably only found your way to this page if you feel like change is needed. Consider the following two very different marriage definitions…

  • Expansive and worth aspiring to -- Healthy relationships are not based on neediness but on the passion and excitement of sharing the journey towards becoming a whole person. (Gawain)

  • Contracted and certain to cause grief -- Marriage is a process in which two individuals renegotiate who they are with respect to each other and the world around them (Berger)

How do you view your significant relationship? Are you Ready for change? or maybe ready to take your relationship to a new level with Life Coaching for Couples?

Coaching offers ultimate support through big life changes. Probably the biggest change that we can make to our lives is to choose to fix our relationship or to divorce, separate or split up from our partner.

Life coaching can be very effective at providing a backdrop of support, certainty, understanding, comfort and strategy while you make such a challenging change. Significant relationship change (choosing to stay-in or out!) is a common reason why clients choose to work with Great Life Coach. Of course there are two sides to the coin, and coaching can help and support people in both sides of a relationship transition.

Happy Relationship or Unhappy Relationship?

Still reading!? Every relationship has rhythms, including a beginning, middle and end! Life Coaching will get you back in touch with your Self, enabling you to authentically decide if your relationship can be turned into one of common purpose, ease and flow, or if it has come to a natural end and it is time to move on.

Many people have lost themSelves in their relationship. The relationship is no longer a supporting environment of mutual-growth.

Does your relationship have a purpose?

What is your common goal? Is your relationship- purpose supporting your own life purpose and personal evolution? Or is it suffocating it?

Coaching will help you decide what action needs to be taken from the centred clarity of yourSelf. We will of course evaluate if the relationship can be saved and then deploy a supported plan accordingly. If you decide that it is time to move on, then with your renewed confidence, coaching can help you put together a plan and then execute that plan with unwavering support. In every case we can design your new life or re-invention and deploy the plan to get you there. Sometimes divorce or separation is explored as a part of a midlife crisis.

There are many relationship books, support services and therapies available to you, and in many cases these may be more appropriate for you than Life Coaching – a choice that only you can know.

Life Coaching focuses on engaging with your Self, designing your future and then moving into action to make it happen. It is not a substitute for couples therapy, therapy or legal services, but can act as a supporting agent for you as you use all these other services. If you feel ready to fix your relationship the following book is highly recommended. If it Hurts it isn't Love, by C. Spezzano.

I also offer life coaching specifically for men or women separately.

If you are looking to change your life situation, if you describe yourself as lost, stuck, AMBIVALENT or caught in a relationship complexity you may find my Happiness Compass of great value. It's a great way to get started!

Divorcing or Separating from your Spouse or Partner

If you feel you have exhausted wisdom-literature, relationships support services, and couples therapies and are ready to make your life change, then life coaching can help you make that change in the following ways.

Today, say YES! to the next step. 

My utterly confidential life coaching work with people exploring the opportunity of divorce, separation or juicy relationship re-ignition can explore the following areas...

Before the Divorce or Separation

  • Loving your self
  • Loving your relationship
  • Can the relationship be rescued, or do you want out.
  • Exploring if sex/intimacy can return
  • Get in touch and understand your Self
  • Get confident
  • Assertion and setting boundaries
  • Understand your relationship
  • Explore possible options – staying together, therapy, affairs, separation and divorce
  • Overcoming ambivalence -- Should I stay or should I go?
  • Designing a strategy
  • Designing a Conscious Uncoupling
  • Do it!

During the Divorce

  • Loving your self
  • Relaxation and de-stress
  • Personal power and centeredness
  • Confidence
  • Support
  • Preparing for reinvention
  • After the Divorce – The Opportunity of Your New Life
  • Continuing to Love your self
  • Start to Live Juicy
  • Embracing change
  • Reinvention
  • Reconnection with the new you
  • A new career?
  • New friends and lovers
  • Support

Being Divorced or Separated from

  • Continuing to Love your self
  • Get in touch and understand your Self
  • Embracing change
  • Letting go and understanding
  • Relaxation and de-stress
  • Personal power and centeredness
  • Reinvention
  • Reconnection with the new you
  • A new career?
  • New friends and lovers
  • Starting to date again
  • Support

If you are interested in exploring if I can help you create a compelling future... Get in Touch

Self-Help Resources for Couples 

I'd love to work deeply with both of you. I have worked with many people since 2003 and I've built an understanding of core life-secrets that can allow you to develop a trajectory towards more Passion, more Connection and more Peace in your relationships. But if life is calling you both to go DIY with your relationship work, then you may find the following lower-investment resources useful. AT the very least these resources can help you make sense of what is going on in your relationship. And of course it goes without saying, if you need any help or reflection along the way, do give me a call even if its just for an hour!

If you feel you have exhausted wisdom-literature, relationships support services, and couples therapies and are ready to make your life change, then life coaching can help you make that change in the following ways.  Today, say YES! to the next step.


I love this book. It comprises of page after page of simple insights that can be used to debug your relationship. In If It Hurts, It Isn't Love, Spezzano finds truth in simple insights: What I think I need is what I am called to give.

Depression is the fear that something new will leave me.

When someone gets angry at me, there is a lesson for me to learn. Jealousy is a birthing place.

These principles show how to look afresh at one's most important relationships, in a way that heals pain and brings love and forgiveness. After each principle, the author gives brief exercises that nudge readers further, prompting them to absorb the insights even more deeply.


In my life coaching work we often take a good look at Shadow. Your shadow WILL affect the way you love and receive love. It is the parts of ourselves that we've buried, the parts of ourselves that are not seen, the blind spots. Yet those parts of ourselves still have a big influence on our relationship. If you've never taken a good look at your own shadow before, NOW is a great time to do it! You may like to take a good look at this self-help course. The Shadow Course is an eight–week transformational learning experience with two of my favourite life-skills teachers. This is a great course to do as a couple. It will open countless opportunities for self growth within the relationship.

Alarmed by the unconsciousness in our world today, Caroline and Andrew joined forces to create this in-depth journey. Think of it as a guide to uncovering what you don’t know about yourself so you can come into alignment with your true power and purpose.

Of course, it’s not easy to see what we don’t want to see about ourselves. There is a reason we turn away from certain truths and that our greatest inner treasures often remain hidden. The Shadow Course offers a journey of self-confrontation, one that requires courage, truth-telling, and a willingness to grow. This is “a holy adventure.”

My life coaching work encourages you to walk an Authentic path in life. You can only be authentic if you fully accept who you are. This online resource presents insights and guidances on ways you can fully accept yourself.


The Save the Marriage System - Each year in America alone, nearly 1 million marriages end in divorce. (Statistics are stories with the tears washed off.) The question is how many of those marriages could be saved. Unfortunately, that is an invisible number. Even if your marriage stays together, it is hard to find in the statistics. So many couple perpetuate relationshiop for the sake of it. The opportunuity is to perpetuate LOVE! Can your marriage be saved? This course highlights some relationship fundamentals... 

1) Quit the blame game. Stop blaming your spouse and stop blaming yourself. This is the first step because marriages get frozen into a pattern of blame that immobilizes any prospect of progress. Instead, the momentum gets dragged down and down. Blame is our way of avoiding seeing ourselves clearly. It is much easier to point the finger somewhere and say "It's their fault." But in marriage, you can just as easily turn that pointing finger on yourself and place the blame there, saying "it's all my fault." Unfortunately, blame feels good in the short-term, but in the long-term, it prevents any shift or change. So, even if you can make a long list of why you or your spouse should be blamed, forget it. Even if that list is factual, it will not help you put your marriage back together. Blame is the fuel of divorces.

2) Take responsibility. Decide you can do something. Change always begins with one person who wants to see a change. Understand that taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame (see above). Instead, blame is saying "regardless of who is at fault, there are some things I can do differently, and I am going to do them." What buttons do you allow your spouse to push? What buttons do you push with your spouse? Decide not to allow those buttons to be pushed and stop pushing the buttons. What amazes me in my coaching is that everyone knows what they should be doing or not doing. But it is difficult to move in that direction. Don't be caught in that. Decide that you will take action. The difference between blame and responsibility is this: if I am in a burning building, I can stand around trying to figure out who started the blaze, why it has spread so quickly, and who I am going to sue when it is over (blame), or I can get myself and anyone else I can out of that building (taking responsibility). When a marriage is in trouble, the house is on fire. How will you take action to save the marriage?

3) Get support from experts. If others have been helped, you can be, too. Experts with a great deal more perspective and experience can be a real help in these situations. Do your research and divide the useless from the useful, then take advantage of the useful. Don't assume that your situation is so different from every other situation. I can tell you that after 20-some years of providing coaching, not too much new comes through my doors. Don't get me wrong; the story changes, but the dynamics are the same.

4) Take action. Today. Love is a verb. Take action! More damage is done by doing nothing by taking a misstep. It is too easy to get paralyzed by the situation. Therapists often talk about "analysis paralysis." This occurs when people get so caught up in their churning thoughts and attempts to "figure things out" that they never take action. It is not enough to simply understand what is causing the problem. You must then act! On a daily basis, I find people coming to my practice with the belief that if they can just understand their problem, it will resolve itself. That simply does not happen. Resolution of the situation takes action.

Will your marriage be saved? Are you ready to take action? Grab the best-selling resource on the internet for saving marriages: Save the Marriage, Even If Only You Want It! The Save the Marriage System


1000 Questions for Couples - One of the biggest reason marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask the big questions before they walk down the aisle.

If couples simply spent some time asking each other the questions that really matter, they'd greatly increase their chances of staying together. The great thing about a "question book" is that it makes it easier to ask those difficult questions and encourages an environment to address them. Webb has put together the most comprehensive collection of questions, covering every single topic you'd ever want to know about before tying the knot or debugging your relationship.

It includes tough subjects like money, children & child rearing, career, past and present relationships, religion, morals, convictions & beliefs, personality and sex.

This book is for everyone. NOT just couples who are thinking of getting married but also couples who just want to feel closer together, or people dating, who just want more things to talk about. 


To Love and Be LovedTo Love and Be Loved —a life-changing program about what it means to be alive and in love.

These lovely people have poured all of the wisdom, compassion, and courage they gained from their work with the suffering and grief-stricken into the mystery of their own relationship. The result is a beautiful, unexpected unfolding, a teaching that transcends the anguish of existence to show us the way to God—through the darkest nights of our most intimate relationships.

In the rich and forbidding depths of our personal pain, the Levines teach, lies the essence of intimacy, not only with one another, but with God.

This is why true commitment requires us to “swim across the reservoir of each other’s grief.” Stephen and Ondrea lead you beyond psychological explanations and show how couples together can immerse themselves in the “ocean of compassion”—where you will discover how to face and overcome the fear that closes your heart, and replace it with mercy: the key to creativity, freedom, and love.

Through honest, real-life sharing, To Love and Be Loved teaches you how to discover the greatest gift you can ever have: forgiveness—for yourself and your lover. 

I'd love to work deeply with both of you. I have worked with many people since 2003 and I've built an understanding of core life-secrets that can allow you to develop a trajectory towards more Passion, more Connection and more Peace in your relationships. Give me a call!


The Soulmate ContractDiscover the Mystical Pairings Ready to Empower Your Life

Each one of us comes into the world as a custodian of soul-level partnerships—mystical agreements we enter into for the fulfillment of our divine destinies. Join Myss and Harvey on The Soulmate Contract to discover and honor the bonds you have made to support your spiritual growth and the offering of your unique gifts. In fourteen provocative sessions, they present a sweeping vision of the soulmate contract in its many manifestations, revealing why this phenomenon has taken on unprecedented importance today—and what you can do about it.

Addressing Our Longing for Divine Intimacy

At the heart of the soulmate contract burns the universal desire for connection with that which is sacred and true. When we choose consciously to embark upon this journey, the companions to our soul will begin to reveal themselves and share the critical wisdom they hold for us. From soulmate contracts with human friends (or foes) to contracts with angels, realized beings, the natural world, and more, Myss and Harvey unveil the surprising pairings that may be waiting to spark your spiritual development and personal evolution.

"When it comes to soulmates, rest assured, we find each other when the time is right," teaches Caroline Myss. The Soulmate Contract offers you more than seven hours of perception-expanding insights and empowering guidance for the path ahead. Friends this could be the most important 7 hours thatyopu may invest witgh your lover, your partner, your chosen one.

Hope that helps, give me a call if you need support x


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Sunday, 22 May 2022

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