Happy Campers....

"I contacted Lee six months ago as I was about to make a big choice to leave my job and change my life. I wanted help from someone who was not invested in my life in any way, and thus could objectively support and challenge me as I powered through that change. I hadn’t expected to enjoy the process quite so much, or to get from Lee so much more than I’d bargained for. Do not be fooled into thinking that coaching with Lee will simply examine the practical mechanics of your life. He has got me to deeply scrutinise the how, the what, and the why of who I am with searing yet playful courage and honesty. With lightness, a sprinkling of humour, infectious enthusiasm, and beautiful spirituality, Lee creates a clear, quiet space that accepts and queries what you will unpack together. His incisiveness has often left me gasping/laughing at the eye-opening revelations about myself. I am learning to become who I am and fully inhabit an amazing life for myself, and I am deeply grateful & happy that I chose to invest in this work." Consultant & Entreprenuer, Bristol

"Thank you for the wonderful session today. I really feel such important shifts in my life, your guidance and support have been phenomenal." Unhappy wife, London

"Lee is a perceptive and non-judgemental listener with the ability to understand quickly and easily the core issues that need to be addressed. His techniques enable one to really look inside oneself and remove blockers that prevent progress. Powerful stuff!" Solicitor, Finchley

"My thankyou was heartfelt Lee. Our work together has helped me to think differently and get me through a very difficult period in my life. Thank you. You have a special gift. Speak soon." Food Entrepreneur, Hertford

"When I first met with lee I did not really know what to expect. I had lots of questions about life in general and was struggling with some issues. After several sessions I now feel more clarity and focus. The work is not done yet but I look forward to our sessions together with excitement. Lee is a good listener and will choose his replys to questions wisely helping you to gain another perspective. I would defiantly recommend to anyone who has the courage to look for more from life. Thanks lee." Electrician, North London

"I knew immediately that I had found someone with a depth of wisdom, warmth and compassion who would not hesitate to put the challenging questions but who would also be there to encourage and support me. I am now able to see the path ahead with much greater clarity and I KNOW it's the right one!" Private School Head Teacher, London Docklands

"Coaching helps you learn about yourself and feel the better for it, Lee is highly professional and always puts your best interests first." Business Analyst, Notting Hill

"I am so glad I am doing this. I am so glad I am doing this with you. I am so proud of myself that I am taking action." Global IT Manager, Melbourne, Australia
"So Lee, I say a big thank you for our time together. I really have enjoyed it and you have given me plenty to think about over the past few months. In many ways I believe you helped steer me towards realising what it is that I am meant to be doing. You're an incrediby interesting person and I have learnt a lot from your outlook - it has been refreshing to say the least!" Lawyer, Moorgate

"I am enormously grateful for the way in which you have helped me to break through some of the blockages in my life and for the sound advice you have provided through a challenging yet exciting period. I also hope to see you at the opening of my bar next year! " Investment Banker, City

"Thanks for your great support! It is helpful and skilful. Look forward - as ever - to next meeting." Health services entrepreneur, East London

"Thank you for all your help and support over the last few months it has been great to work with you" NHS Trust Senior Executive, Hertfordshire

"The most valuable thing you have given me is perspective - a realisation that wellbeing comprises simultaneously satisfying a number of needs, and there is really no point over-focussing. Trite of course, and I knew that already, but you have really deepened my understanding of this truth. But the best thing of all: the belief that anything is possible. We are limited only by our own minds. Fantastic!" Senior Lawfirm Partner, Westminster

"'I found Lee a joy to work with, gently leading you down a fascinating path of self-discovery towards an answer or solution you were looking for, but may not have found on your own. I can recommend him highly." Hedge Fund Manager, Chelsea

"I think I was very fortunate to try your web-site first when I was looking for a life coach. I have found your guidance to be objective and uncomplicated, and you have always provided me with much needed focus. You look as though you have been eating light bulbs!" IT Professional, London Docklands

"As at now, about six months after engaging in this coaching process, I feel good, and that I have made amazing progress in discovering/digging out who I am. The validation I get out of work is being replaced by the joy of honouring my values – I get more and more fulfilled by the joy of being a loving and caring, person." VP Marketing and Development, North London

"I got some quality time to relax and think about everything... I'm still really excited about all the work we did last year." Technology Entrepreneur, Islington

"Working with Lee helped me focus where I want to go next in my life. The programme is well structured and allows achieving goals within the time frame. Lee is engaging and obviously enjoys what he is doing. Great stuff!" Oncology Consultant, Muswell Hill

"I contacted Lee when I realised the changes I needed in my life and myself were too daunting to manage on my own. Lee helped me through a journey of self discovery. I felt empowered all the way in the knowledge that Lee wasn't judging me or finding answers for me. I have resurfaced 'the real me' that had been hidden for years and am facing the new year full of ambition and determination." Management Consultant, St. Albans

"I felt very confused about which direction to take in life. Lee didn't tell me what the right answer was. What he did was to teach me the tools to realise what the possibilities were for me and then focus on the ones which really suited me. Thanks" Dental Surgeon, Farringdon

"When I first got in touch with you I was just looking for some help in getting promoted and making the best of a career I wasn't really happy with. You've helped me understand what it is I truly value in life, to rediscover my creativity and to start to believe that, instead of making the best of a joyless career, I can change direction and realise my dreams. It's been brilliant working with you". Partner Big 5 Consultancy, City of London

... and so on...

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8 minutes reading time (1581 words)

How to cope with a Mid Life Crisis?

How to cope with a Mid Life Crisis

Life Coach support for a Midlife Crisis

This article may be of interest to you if you're a man in midlife or you are married to someone in midlife or you want to learn more about this important time of change. I have noticed over the years that quite a few clients sought life coaching support to help them navigate the uncertain waters of a midlife crisis. Sometimes the work involved a resolution of unresolved difficulties from the past, dissatisfaction with the present, a sense of lost opportunities, a fear of diminished options in the future or of growing older in an ageist society. Drawing on tools and perspectives from several wisdom-traditions, my role as a coach was to be a confidant, a support and to help them rationalise a new perspective on life and a way forwards. This article is about men, but applies equally to women.

A life upheaval that affects many people

How many people do you know that appear to be having midlife crisis of some sort? All men have a midlife transition just as all women have a menopause. This important phase of life, often involving powerful emotional upheavals can affect most people, men and women, through a large age range from 30 to 50. For some the transition is minor, as simple as buying a new motorbike and wandering around in brand-new biking gear looking like an elderly power ranger. Others may experience this transition as a crisis involving complex work, relationship and life-meaning factors. And for some the inner call to change goes unanswered. 

What is a Midlife Crisis?

Just when you thought that you had your life mapped out, everything seems to be up in the air.

You find yourself in the grip of a profound and troubling meltdown that comes when we perceive that our personal trajectory is no longer arcing reliably upward as it once did.

As we enter and begin to face the second half of our lives, we all have the opportunity to face our mortality and this brings up existential issues.

What have I accomplished in my life?
What do I have yet to accomplish?
What might I never accomplish?
What will I leave behind?
What kind of person have I been and what kind of person do I want to be?
Does my life have meaning?

This midlife transition, lasts about 3–10 years in men and 2–5 years in women, and can be triggered by many factors. These may include extramarital affairs, menopause, the death of parents, grief, unemployment, underemployment, realizing that a job or career is hated but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living, the meaning of life, or children leaving home. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in core aspects of day-to-day life or situation, such as in career, work-life balance, marriage, romantic relationships, big-ticket expenditures, or physical appearance.

For some folks it is particularly traumatic and it becomes a crisis; they feel cut adrift from anything they have ever known, love, family, ambition. It may become a spiritual crisis or a call to discover what more is there to life. Far from it being the jolly experience portrayed in the media of a man skipping off with a young busty brunette and buying a sports car; most men, and consequently their wives, feel utterly miserable and out of control with their once ordered lives. It may be a great source of jokes and amusement for some, but for those affected it can be quite debilitating. In some ways, every man's experience is different, but of course, there are many common strands to what men are feeling.

The signs of a mid life crisis

The NHS website recommends you see a doctor, and then goes on to say you will be prescribed anti-depressants! For some men with a clinical condition this may be the best course of action. But if I am to go by the case-studies that I have seen, those clients were not 'ill'. They were simply men and women who were feeling rather cornered, crushed or uncertain of themselves. Sometimes, they were tired of playing a lifetime of inauthentic roles or they were unsure of how to bring balance, wholeness or truth into their lives. Exhausted by litany of problems they had created for themselves, they were often looking for something deeper to life. One expert cited the following warning signs:

1. He says life is a bore.
2. He is thinking about (or already) having an affair.
3. He is suddenly making impetuous decisions about money and/or his career.
4. He says things like: I need space, I love you but I'm not in love with you, I hate my job, Why don't we sell up?, I want something but I don't know what, you are making my life difficult... (it's a long list!)
5. He makes a dramatic change in his personal style or appearance and is suddenly spending lots of time in front of a mirror.
6. He has little interest in spending time (or having sex) with you.
7. He is drinking too much or abusing other substances.
8. He is displaying the classic signs of depression -- sleeping more, loss of appetite, malaise.
9. He is overly nostalgic and constantly reminiscing about his youth or his first love.

Let's discuss your whole life situation with greatest confidentiality

How can Great Life Coach help you?

It needn't be a crisis. I have had a lot of experience supporting men and women through this delicate, often ridiculed phase of life. Often it's a time when people feel most alone with nobody to turn to. Very few 'midlife' men will admit to family, friends or colleagues that they have a problem. Additionally, this area is under-served by experts. Your doctor may recommend drugs, psychologists may recommend therapy but sometimes a more practical approach is beneficial; sometimes all that is needed is to have an understanding confidant!

Over the years I have recognised that the pastoral role that I provide to men is utterly unique. Men have few places to truly say it how it is; to be vulnerable and accepted. Not many men have a network of close friends to whom they can reveal their most intimate secrets. A place to explore vulnerability and power. As a supportive confidant I can help you bring perspective to your life and your life situation. A non-judgemental listening ear may be all that is needed to birth you into the next phase of your life journey. If we can be honest about our painful and confusing feelings, mid-life can be a time for reassessment and reappraisal, a learning period providing the opportunity to change. We may become more interested in exploring parts of ourselves that we have lost touch with, develop a greater self-knowledge and sense of inner strength, and be less dependent on the approval of others. We may cultivate a greater interest in spiritual matters and express hidden skills and creativity. Some people also find that their relationships become deeper and more rewarding.

Often a career change appears as a part of this Work. If we haven't figured out 'what we are going to do when we grow up', this midlife transition will be a time of pondering our right livelihood. My coaching work can help you zero-in on a future vocation that is optimal. Many men and women in 'promising careers' completely change direction at midlife and even though they may take a big cut in pay, find life as a school teacher, or even a construction worker more satisfying than being a stock broker or high-powered executive.

Life coaching work can often be undertaken alongside other therapeutic interventions such as psychotherapy, meditation and retreats. We discuss a range of strategies that can help and where appropriate, I will recommend other experts.

The Opportunity

Whilst it can undoubtedly be a challenging time, there is an opportunity to feel wiser, and more able to sort out the important from the inconsequential. Perhaps one of the most important aspects of a midlife transition is the quest for the sacred.

Together we can foster an openness that can turn your time of crisis into a time of quest. It can be a quest for wholeness, authenticity, a quest for integrity, a quest for love, deeper intimacy, a quest for independence as well as interdependence, or a quest for the sacred. It can be a time for the healing of old wounds or for finding one's true calling. WOW!

Many people acquire a wisdom, maturity and self-confidence they lacked earlier. These can be immensely useful in dealing with existing relationships and lifestyle as well as forging new beginnings. Rather than it being a crisis, in fact it can all feel very positive!

So... if you are feeling the 'call to adventure' in the form of internal urgings to examine your livelihood, or your relationships, or your understanding of the meaning of life, answer the call.... give me a call and see if I can help you. It may not lead to a crisis, but it will surely lead to a more fulfilling life!

I also offer life coaching specifically for men or women separately.

Needless to say confidentiality and discretion are paramount to our working relationship. If you are interested in exploring if I can help you create a compelling future... Get in Touch

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Wednesday, 18 July 2018

Google Reviews...

google 5star coach1- Thank you very much for your good work Lee. Thanks to our sessions I've been able to design a good plan for my next project. It's been lovely to be able to talk to you without being judged, really openly.
google 5star coach2- Lee truly guided me on to the right path. I was stuck, frustrated, unsure of where to turn. I saw Lee once a month for just over a year, and i can honestly say this was the best decision i've ever made. Thank you again Lee!
google 5star coach3- I am so thankful for my time with Lee, he is so kind and full of positive energy. Lee helped me through a difficult transitional period in my life and acted as a guide, shedding light on what I really wanted and gave me a new perspective on how to gain it. His energy, inspirational attitude and deep care for others is uplifting and contagious but what's more is that he's completely authentic and genuine, making him an incredible Life Coach.
google 5star coach4- Lee is an amazing life coach with wisdom and strength.  The little time spent with lee has had a great impact on my life without doubt !  When balance isn't in your life then lee is the man to help you find this.  He is a strong hand to hold when when life is uncertain and fear holds you back!
google 5star coach6- I was feeling a bit stuck in life and decided to do some life coaching.  Lee was superb.  He helped me identify where I want to be, why I'm not there at the moment, and how to get myself going in the right direction.  Life has already changed considerably since working with him.  A lovely man and a great coach!
google 5star coach7- I met Lee at a point in my life when I was dealing with significant change.  I needed someone who could help me approach my choices in a systematic and holistic way, and he has done that.  He has an approach that is different and fresh, and an ability to adapt that style to meet my particular needs.  He has helped me confront many issues and get onto a better life path.
google 5star coach8- I have been working with Lee for over 3 years. I had reached a particular crossroads in life and working with him has enabled me to reach a good place. The coaching has made such a positive difference. Left to my own devices I might have advanced my self-knowledge a little but nothing to the degree of insight that I have been able to develop with Lee. In fact, without such insight, I don't know which direction my life might now be taking. Now I do, and the journey has been wonderful. Looking back I can say that this has been the best thing I have spent money on because it has been an investment in myself.
google 5star coach9- I contacted Lee six months ago as I was about to make a big choice to leave my job and change my life. I wanted help from someone who was not invested in my life in any way, and thus could objectively support and challenge me as I powered through that change. I hadn’t expected to enjoy the process quite so much, or to get from Lee so much more than I’d bargained for. Do not be fooled into thinking that coaching with Lee will simply examine the practical mechanics of your life. He has got me to deeply scrutinise the how, the what, and the why of who I am with searing yet playful courage and honesty. With lightness, a sprinkling of humour, infectious enthusiasm, and beautiful spirituality, Lee creates a clear, quiet space that accepts and queries what you will unpack together. His incisiveness has often left me gasping/laughing/both at the eye-opening revelations about myself. I am learning to become who I am and fully inhabit an amazing life for myself, and I am deeply grateful & happy that I chose to invest in this work.
google 5star coach10- I have been working with Lee for a number of months now, and his support has been very important to me, as I attempt to rationalise recent life experiences and move forward to a happier, positive future. I look forward to our sessions and under his guidance have explored why I have felt unhappy in the past, and identify what I must do to become the person I want to be. Lee is hugely experienced and very empathetic, but he will also tell you some home truths when needed. Everyone at a crossroads in their life could benefit from his approach. He comes highly recommended!
google 5star coach11- I decided to start the life coaching sessions with Lee when I moved to London earlier last year. I seemed to have a perfect life but I know it's not what I wanted. Lee helped me to make smarter decisions when facing the crossroad, and to look inside myself to live the life I really wanted. I would recommend him to everyone who wants to make a change and live the life to the fullest.Thank you Lee!
google 5star coach13- Lee is a wise and thoughtful person to speak with and has some great tips on how to really find your passion in life. I really enjoyed his company and found his words a great guide for helping me to find my true and best path in life.
google 5star coach14- I decided to have Life Coaching with Lee last year as I felt I had hit a crossroads.  Although I knew I had the all the answers myself, I needed some direction to help me pull the answers from within! Lee started with some simple exercises to get me thinking about what my true 'Rachelness' wanted from life and then we took it from there.  During this journey, I'll be honest I did resent Lee on occasion, but this was because he was making me face my insecurities and that can be uncomfortable (really it was myself I was resenting).  Lee makes it very easy for you to talk openly about how the process is making you feel and is an extremely kind man.  I have made some big changes since last year, I've moved to the seaside, found a partner who loves the outdoors as much as me and sorted out some long standing health issues! I feel GREAT! Thank you Lee you helped me release my inner self :)
google 5star coach12- I've worked with Lee for the last two months in an effort to bring some harmony back to my personal and professional life. Lee's background in business, as well as his spiritual side has helped greatly with practical advice while also providing a framework to re-focus my energy on the things in life that are important to me...I'm looking forward to continuing to build on the success so far - well worth the investment!
google 5star coach15- Lee is a very special and talented individual who I am really pleased to have 'worked' with. I decided to have life coaching as I felt I was at an important age to be making some directional choices for my career - I had dabbled in a second career (my own business) on and off for a couple of years but just couldn't decide if I should take the full plunge into this career choice or not. Working with Lee, we set about finding out what my true values are and how this career choice might (or might not) serve them. Of course, along the way I learnt much much more than this. I can say with absolute certainty this work was one of the most important investments of my time and money in my grand old 28 years of life. Lee is not a magician and you need to dedicate time and energy into 'homework' if you're serious about self-realisation, Lee can guide you but it's you that has to do the work. I was very very busy throughout the most part of our time together but part of the magic of coaching is that you become answerable to somebody else and you have set deadlines (which you'll set yourself). Often when I look back at my coaching I realise that there's never a 'good time' for life coaching, you need to MAKE time before you LOSE time. Like all good enablers, Lee worked to make himself eventually redundant to me (for now) and I've come away with a clear career direction and a better understanding of myself. I'm on a long old mountain climb to fulfilling my business dream but I'm already 10 times higher up the mountain than I would have been without my coaching with Lee. It's not easier work but I now know I'm choosing the correct path and I'm super confident I'll get there or die trying!
google 5star coach2- Lee helped me when I was facing a true crisis of spirit. There are certain instances from our coaching sessions which will forever be engrained as a positive marker in my mind- serving me in recalling the importance of following the path. Thank you Lee.
google 5star coach14- Thanks to Lee's methods I made some decitions that brought me to a healthier, happier and more relaxing place. I could make a decition that it was dificult for me to make and I did it feeling very confident and with the tranquility that everything will be fine. I could see what is good for me, what my needs are and I am happy to be able to make my own decitions. Lee guides you towards those things that make you feel better. You get to know yourself very deeply. It is a very interesting process and I want more of it. :) Thanks to Lee I know now what is the mountain that I want to climb and that It is important to expres oneself on time according to your feelings and thoughts. Thank you!
google 5star coach11- I've been one of Lee's clients for about three years now and he's helped me make massive strides forward, changing a career that was draining my energy and helping to focus on what I love doing in life.  He's great fun and refreshing to work with (especially when you feel tired and trapped) but he's also good at tough love too!  Highly highly recommended!
google 5star coach8- I have been a life coach client of Lee for nearly two years and I love working with him. He has helped me to be the true me and move towards my ambition of living at peace with myself and everyone else. Wherever you are in your life journey, Lee can help you move forwards and upwards. All you need to take with you to your sessions is openess and willingness. I can't recommend him enough.
google 5star coach3- I came to Lee with a specific agenda. I knew I wasn't happy on the inside and I knew that I had wanted (and needed) to do things differently. Lee provided a thought provoking framework and path forward. Out of those thoughts great things have occurred. We then moved into a period of action which still hurtles forward today and in a direction I am totally rapt with. Lee is now a valuable and trusted member of my team. Don't think about it any longer - just try it for yourself.