Happy Campers...

"Thank you so much for all our sessions which has helped me prise open my mind and see that there's creativity alive in me." Solicitor Administrator, EC1 
"This has been a reaffirming process for me which has given me the confidence to make the decisions and changes I need to make to better align my life with my values and aspirations." Estate Agent Partner, Herts.  
"When we first met I seemed to have lost the direction in life and didn't know which way to take. I felt useless and dull. Lee showed me how to find out what really matters to ME and we gave my life a new direction. Yes I can!" Mum returning to work, West London  
"Thank You! Our last session was so personalised for me, I really appreciate it. I am so inspired to change" Actress, Herts. 

"Working with Lee is an amazing experience for me. The work creates a space to explore myself that I couldn't create with my friends or my family. As an entrepreneur I was often totally stressed out, with the help of Lee's coaching I now deal with the same challenges relaxed and at ease. Further, I got a clearer sense of purpose, my relationships improved and my life has a new depth that made me realise I have only been living at the surface of my potential before. I am thrilled to continue this journey." 26yo, Chelsea  
"Thank you for doing what 3 years of analysis and 30 years of how-to books failed to achieve. You truly are a gifted life coach, thank you for doing what you do." Property Investment Millionaire, Hampstead  

"I engaged Lee initially to tackle a specific matter, but quickly our work together moved into many other aspects of my life, surprising me at how much more there can be to what I thought was an already happy life. Lee has challenged me, our sessions have been inspiring and fun, and I have really got a lot out of the life coaching by committing to action between our sessions. Its actually tough when life is already busy, but has been very worthwhile, with lots more to come..." CFO, Marylebone 

"Thanks again. Really enjoyed today's session and value your support and guidance" Writer, SE London 
"I first started working with Lee to address a general lack of purpose and direction in my life, particularly focussing on my career and relationship. Our work together has given me a fresh perspective and helped to kick-start some long overdue changes as well as learning a great deal about myself and my ability to achieve the things that I want out of life. This work has been the first step in an already exciting journey of self development." Investment Banker, Clapham 
"It's amazing, it's like having a massage from the inside-out." Secondary School Headmaster, Ealing 
"Hope I haven't been a difficult client...  As I said I do feel as though I've gained something from our work together, perhaps just not what I was expecting!" Marketing Agency VP, Notting Hill 
"Thank you lee for a very thought provoking and illuminating session." Pensioner, Oxford.

"I would like to thank you for our work together as it really has helped me put things into perspective - despite the "blip" in the middle when I thought I was going nowhere.  I feel positive about my "new life".

"It helped me focus on what key issues are really important to me - some which I had not given enough thought to in the past.  This enabled me to consider what changes I could make which would really make a difference to my outlook on life rather than continue to 'plod along' as I had been doing in the past." Accountant, Maidstone

"Lee is passionate to help you to achieve your aims.  His methods are intelligent, challenging, innovative, fun and subtle. If you are prepared to change for the better in any way, be brave and contact him" Accountancy Professional, Kent

"Thanks for getting me through a huge blockage and helping me arrive at a place I had such difficulty getting to." Management Consultant, Reading 

"Thank you for your wisdom and assistance in helping me to find my way..." Banking Executive, City 
"You are wonderful!" Lawyer, City of London

"When I first started working with Lee I had completely lost my way in life, I felt as if I had nothing to offer. Lee has shown me what I have to offer the world and once again to start feeling good about who I am. The most powerful thing Lee has given me is the ability to say who I am and what I stand for, a great feeling!" Telco Chief Accountant, Sudbury 

"I have taken the real plunge! I have packed up my business and am at college studying ceramics in a 3 year BA … anyway, it feels great to be doing something I have always yearned to do. I have managed to turn myself around." Graphic Designer, SE London 

"Lee's total commitment to my growth has ensured I have found the answers to my deepest questions. He approaches his work with love, enthusiasm and bucket loads of wisdom" Life Coach, Brighton 

"My coaching experience took me on a three month journey which helped me take control of my life to get out of a self-destructive rut.  I am now living a brighter, more hopeful, more fulfilling life." Global Publisher Group Accountant, Wimbledon 

"I really did need your guidance desperately. I feel a lot better about myself now, a lot more positive about life, even after just a few sessions, so thank you!!" Personal Assistant, Holborn

"Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. It is bringing unbelievable peace in me.  Smiles forever" 23yo, Fulham 
"Fifty something - think you're past it - don’t believe it. My series of fun sessions with Lee, culminated in me getting out my 'comfort zone' and becoming invincible. Prepare to visualize and you will be surprised at how you can make your world happen. Remember “Nothing will work unless you do”. Thanks Lee – recommendations of the highest order”. Business Owner, Banbury 
"Really enjoyed the session, I can see we'll be a fertile combination. Good stuff and thanks very much." Derivatives Trader, Cambridge 

Main Menu

60 Minutes to a New You...

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Video Introduction...

Coaching Assertiveness

If you could...

  • Recognise and look after your needs... Would you? 
  • Speak up for yourself... Would you?
  • Say No more often... Would you?
  • Enjoy ultimate support in becoming an assertive person... Would you?

What kind of a person wouldn't?

being assertiveVery often the subject of Assertiveness arises in a coaching relationship.  We all lack assertiveness somewhere in our lives; I see both powerful people and the timid giving themSelves away. You have surrounded yourself with your current life situation because of the choices you’ve made in your life. As you learn more about yourself and the choices you have made, you may realise that a lack of assertiveness has played an important part in your  feeling of lacking, lost-ness or powerless. If you wish the future to be better than the past, you need to make better choices and some of those choices may involve being more assertive in the way you communicate with others.

Do you have trouble saying no, even when you really should?

Do you feel like people walk all over you?

Do you have trouble keeping your temper under control?

No one else will speak up for you if you do not!

Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself and your rights without violating the rights of others. It is appropriately direct, open, and honest communication which is self-enhancing and expressive.

Assertive behaviour will allow you to feel self-confident and will generally gain you the respect of your peers and friends. It can increase your chances for honest relationships and help you to feel better about yourself and your self-control in everyday situations. This, in turn, will improve your decision-making ability and your chances of getting what you really want from life -- assertiveness can be the focus of our coaching work together.

Non-assertive behaviour includes avoidance, withdrawal, timidity, deference, submissiveness, fearfulness, and indirectness. We can explore your communication styles as a part of our coaching work and may reveal that more assertiveness would help you bring more equality to your significant relationships. Our work may well focus on helping you assert yourself to deal with the big-energy-drainers in your life. As you start to master speaking up and looking after your needs you will enjoy several other benefits from behaving assertively...

  • Speak up (where you would normally be timid, make requests, ask for favours )
  • Ask why
  • Express negative emotions
  • Show positive emotions ... "Thank you."
  • Question authority or tradition
  • Initiate, carry on, change and terminate conversations comfortably.
  • Deal with minor irritations

What causes people to avoid being assertive?

As children we were probably criticized when we expressed opinions or desires especially if they differed from the opinions of our parents or peers. Effectively we were taught, what we want is not important -- what is important is what other people want. We learned that openly revealing our true thoughts and feelings will lead to rejection. Many of us may have become so intent on pleasing others that we have forgotten how to think for ourselves... and perhaps can no longer identify our own thoughts and feelings.

Self Help...

Think about it... 

Most people are not assertive for fear of displeasing others and of not being liked. How many of these statements do you remember being told as a child? 

  • don't be selfish
  • don't make mistakes
  • don't be emotional
  • don't tell people if you don't like them
  • don't be so unreasonable
  • don't question people
  • don't interrupt
  • don't trouble others with your problems
  • don't complain
  • don't upset others
  • don't brag
  • don't be anti-social
  • do what people ask you to do
  • help people who need help
  • and on and on...
  • Either way, a lot of us grew up without the skills or the confidence to practice assertiveness. 

If you do not assert yourself you end up with a You Win -- I Lose situation

Photo by ARGWhen we are non-assertive we focus too much on pleasing others and meeting the goals of other people, as opposed to satisfying our own values, goals and happiness.  Often non-assertiveness results from being in unfamiliar situations, or where you have previously experienced a negative outcome.

Assertiveness leads to more self-respect and happiness.  To become assertive it is important to learn the right skills and have adequate motivation to use those skills in that situation. My assertiveness coaching generally has the following approach...

  • Understanding assertiveness
  • What are your needs? Realize where changes are needed and believe in your rights.  
  • Build up your courage by reviewing all the reasons for changing.
  • Figure out appropriate ways of asserting yourself in each specific situation that concerns you.
  • Set assertiveness goals.
  • Practice giving assertive responses.
  • The new you! Be assertive in real life situations.

Take up the challenge of living an assertive future. Using a safe and supportive foundation of trust, freedom of expression and commitment, I always work to help you explore your inner being, to regain balance in your personal and working life and to align with your true values and fullest potential. Using a stimulating London-based face-to-face program customised to fit your current personal development needs, my life coaching focuses on your inner guidance, purpose, skills, beliefs, techniques and processes necessary to take you into a great future.

I partner with intelligent, successful people who want to excel at their passion, gifts and unique talents in a way that brings them success, happiness and balance. Otherwise, do what you always did and you will get what you always got!