Happy Campers...

"Thank you so much for all our sessions which has helped me prise open my mind and see that there's creativity alive in me." Solicitor Administrator, EC1 
"This has been a reaffirming process for me which has given me the confidence to make the decisions and changes I need to make to better align my life with my values and aspirations." Estate Agent Partner, Herts.  
"When we first met I seemed to have lost the direction in life and didn't know which way to take. I felt useless and dull. Lee showed me how to find out what really matters to ME and we gave my life a new direction. Yes I can!" Mum returning to work, West London  
"Thank You! Our last session was so personalised for me, I really appreciate it. I am so inspired to change" Actress, Herts. 

"Working with Lee is an amazing experience for me. The work creates a space to explore myself that I couldn't create with my friends or my family. As an entrepreneur I was often totally stressed out, with the help of Lee's coaching I now deal with the same challenges relaxed and at ease. Further, I got a clearer sense of purpose, my relationships improved and my life has a new depth that made me realise I have only been living at the surface of my potential before. I am thrilled to continue this journey." 26yo, Chelsea  
"Thank you for doing what 3 years of analysis and 30 years of how-to books failed to achieve. You truly are a gifted life coach, thank you for doing what you do." Property Investment Millionaire, Hampstead  

"I engaged Lee initially to tackle a specific matter, but quickly our work together moved into many other aspects of my life, surprising me at how much more there can be to what I thought was an already happy life. Lee has challenged me, our sessions have been inspiring and fun, and I have really got a lot out of the life coaching by committing to action between our sessions. Its actually tough when life is already busy, but has been very worthwhile, with lots more to come..." CFO, Marylebone 

"Thanks again. Really enjoyed today's session and value your support and guidance" Writer, SE London 
"I first started working with Lee to address a general lack of purpose and direction in my life, particularly focussing on my career and relationship. Our work together has given me a fresh perspective and helped to kick-start some long overdue changes as well as learning a great deal about myself and my ability to achieve the things that I want out of life. This work has been the first step in an already exciting journey of self development." Investment Banker, Clapham 
"It's amazing, it's like having a massage from the inside-out." Secondary School Headmaster, Ealing 
"Hope I haven't been a difficult client...  As I said I do feel as though I've gained something from our work together, perhaps just not what I was expecting!" Marketing Agency VP, Notting Hill 
"Thank you lee for a very thought provoking and illuminating session." Pensioner, Oxford.

"I would like to thank you for our work together as it really has helped me put things into perspective - despite the "blip" in the middle when I thought I was going nowhere.  I feel positive about my "new life".

"It helped me focus on what key issues are really important to me - some which I had not given enough thought to in the past.  This enabled me to consider what changes I could make which would really make a difference to my outlook on life rather than continue to 'plod along' as I had been doing in the past." Accountant, Maidstone

"Lee is passionate to help you to achieve your aims.  His methods are intelligent, challenging, innovative, fun and subtle. If you are prepared to change for the better in any way, be brave and contact him" Accountancy Professional, Kent

"Thanks for getting me through a huge blockage and helping me arrive at a place I had such difficulty getting to." Management Consultant, Reading 

"Thank you for your wisdom and assistance in helping me to find my way..." Banking Executive, City 
"You are wonderful!" Lawyer, City of London

"When I first started working with Lee I had completely lost my way in life, I felt as if I had nothing to offer. Lee has shown me what I have to offer the world and once again to start feeling good about who I am. The most powerful thing Lee has given me is the ability to say who I am and what I stand for, a great feeling!" Telco Chief Accountant, Sudbury 

"I have taken the real plunge! I have packed up my business and am at college studying ceramics in a 3 year BA … anyway, it feels great to be doing something I have always yearned to do. I have managed to turn myself around." Graphic Designer, SE London 

"Lee's total commitment to my growth has ensured I have found the answers to my deepest questions. He approaches his work with love, enthusiasm and bucket loads of wisdom" Life Coach, Brighton 

"My coaching experience took me on a three month journey which helped me take control of my life to get out of a self-destructive rut.  I am now living a brighter, more hopeful, more fulfilling life." Global Publisher Group Accountant, Wimbledon 

"I really did need your guidance desperately. I feel a lot better about myself now, a lot more positive about life, even after just a few sessions, so thank you!!" Personal Assistant, Holborn

"Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. It is bringing unbelievable peace in me.  Smiles forever" 23yo, Fulham 
"Fifty something - think you're past it - don’t believe it. My series of fun sessions with Lee, culminated in me getting out my 'comfort zone' and becoming invincible. Prepare to visualize and you will be surprised at how you can make your world happen. Remember “Nothing will work unless you do”. Thanks Lee – recommendations of the highest order”. Business Owner, Banbury 
"Really enjoyed the session, I can see we'll be a fertile combination. Good stuff and thanks very much." Derivatives Trader, Cambridge 

Main Menu

60 Minutes to a New You...

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Life Coaching -- What is your relationship to Success and Failure?

If you could... 

  • Never fail... Would you?  
  • Understand what it means to be successful... Would you?
  • Remove your fear of failure or fear of success... Would you?
  • Enjoy ultimate support in making life changes... Would you?

What kind of a person wouldn't?

The forces of success and failure often affect our ways in the world. I offer success coaching to individuals as well as providing motivational talks to groups/audiences.

Some ponderances for you... So is success what happens when you do not fail?  What if you could not fail, would you be successful?  What if we defined success in terms of not failing?  To do that lets explore the concept of failing.  

Failure is a label that is often identified during life coaching relationships often in the form of...

I feel like a failure.  

I am successful, but I am frightened of failing. 

I cannot do that, what if I fail?

failureThe power this word has over many people’s sense of happiness is extraordinary. When our coaching work reveals a strong identification with the word, together we will quickly develop a new concept of failure that removes its stultifying power. To redefine your relationship to the word failure, it is important to understand what success means -- uniquely to you. Because once you stop relating negatively to failure and you have a clear idea of your own definition of success, you can get on with your life. You'll kick yourself for not getting started sooner.  

Since childhood you have been bombarded with powerful popular culture messages that define failure as being poor, anonymous, powerless, unpopular, or physically unattractive; indeed your parents may have propagated this spell, ingraining negative attitudes about how you relate to the world.  Failures are teased, bullied, and rejected – both by other people and themselves!  This media definition of failure has resulted in many of us being enslaved to a culture of fear and avoidance of failure.  Failure is one of the "dirtiest" words in our society and most people believe that "success is equal to right and therefore equal to good, while failure is equal to wrong and, as such, is bad.” Did your life get stuck on the starting line through fear of failure?  Did you fail because you bought into popular culture's definition of success, for example, being overly concerned with popularity or appearance? What an unnecessary burden to carry. 

Photo by AnnieGreenSpringsI like to explore this territory using two F words.  Big Failure and little failure.  To me Big Failure is what we do when we Fail ourselves, while its lame little cousin, failure, is what we do when we fail to meet the externally mandated, internally adopted expectations of our culture. In life coaching we will learn about both. We look at failure in terms of how to "fail well" using The Law of Feedback which states: there is no failure; there is only feedback. Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results to learn by, not as failure. Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent and personal.  And going deeper, we will also build an understanding that the most painful place to “Fail” is not living in accordance with your core values.  Effectively failing yourSelf, by not being true to yourSelf.  Do you know what your values are?  When we set the foundation for our coaching work we always undertake an in depth revelation of your values using clever techniques that derives a full-proof list.  This list helps us evolve your unique sense of what it means to succeed. ... You can find peace in that knowingness.

It is the fear of failure, not failure that cripples people. So which flavour of failure have you decided to hang your bag of excuses on?  Fear of failure? Failure? Fear of success? Or all of them?  Understanding how failure sabotages your perception of what is possible for you in life requires effort; effort that can be rewarded by getting you unstuck and making a difference to your lot, and crucially your relationship to your lot.

Success (ie. not failure!) isn't some unattainable, elusive thing. It's there for the taking. All you have to do define success in your own terms and then take the necessary, appropriate steps. Successful people overcome their fear of failure while fear incapacitates unsuccessful people. Most people self-limit themselves. Most people do not achieve a fraction of what they are capable of achieving because they are afraid to try — because they are afraid they will fail.

Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from mistakes, mistakes come from bad judgement.

When we live from fear, we limit ourselves in our lives and what is possible, not only do we become afraid of all the negative things in our lives but also the positive. The opposite side of fear is excitement where we live in a place of positivity and positive expectations of what will happen.


Self Help ... Try This...

Get in touch with your values.  Define Success in your own terms… Understand this… very subtly you are succeeding when you are living life in a way that honors your values and is true to yourSelf.  However if you are still caught up in your adopted concept of failure try the following…

If you feel like you are failing (as defined by the popular culture that you subscribe to)… Tell someone all about it and then together use your imagination.  In order to reduce stress and make you feel better, it is vital to reduce the fear of the problem by bringing everything out in the open, gaining perspective — and not only the facts of the problem, but also your feelings about it.

Imagine overcoming the problem and falling short of the goal (failing); then figure what the worst consequences would be and what could be done about them. Thus, if the worst does happen, you're at least prepared and if it doesn't, then you're relieved and probably pleasantly surprised…. Go celebrate!

We all have the power to turn ‘failure’ situations around just in the way we view them.

Perhaps most powerful of all - take the chance and face it. There is nothing better to reduce the fear of failure than having it happen and knowing what it can and can't do. We must face it, live through it and prove to ourselves we can survive it and recover. Many positive things can only be learned by making mistakes and failing. Failing things can be seen as good in two ways: it teaches us valuable lessons (how to change things so we don’t repeat the same mistakes), and it also makes us grow stronger by adding to our repertoire of experiences and resources of strength.  Act, learn, refine, act, learn, refine … That’s called living.   
Have you ever noticed a child with 'fear of failure'? And those adults who seem to be free of any fear of failure - what are they like?

Overcoming your fear of failure will help you be more forgiving towards yourself, help you develop a boundless curiosity and enjoyment of new challenges, and help you change the way you approach success to make it more fun and much less daunting.  To overcome your relationship to the F word it is important to learn the right skills and have adequate motivation to use those skills in your life situation. My success coaching generally has the following approach...

  • Understanding what failure and success means to you
  • Understanding how your concept of failure sabotages you
  • Changing your relationship to the label of failure
  • Defining your own definition of success, and understanding how you can Fail yourSelf.
  • The new you! Making positive changes in your life to harness a no-failure lifestyle.  

Get in touch if you are interested in learning more about creating a life coaching relationship, perhaps with a focus on creating a no-failure lifestyle. 

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